S0E-2: Rush

*Drago recoils from Garrison’s grip.*

Drago: You’re insane. How long do you plan to keep me? How many others do you have trapped here?

Garrison: Young man, there is no need for violence. All answers shall come in due time. Now, sit in the chair and let me make all of your childlike dreams come true.

*Drago punches Garrison in the nose. Garrison recoils, begins chuckling, and slides a needle into Drago’s neck.*

Garrison: You really think you can stop me? My dear boy, that’s no way to treat your elders.

*Drago slips into unconsciousness.*

Garrison: Wake up, young man. The tests will begin shortly.

*Drago’s eyes fly open. He looks around, only to find that he is strapped into the chair he saw earlier. Needles are beginning to come at him from all directions. As they pierce skin, he screams.*

Garrison: Another yo-kai shall be given new life today, my lord. The time of this boy’s life has drawn to a close. Now is the time of our reign!

*The syringes drain as the test finally ends. The warehouse’s power flickers and then cuts out.*

Garrison: What?!

*The sound of the chair breaking is heard, followed by Drago stepping into view. His eyes have separated, giving the impression he now has two pupils and two souls occupying his body.*

Garrison: Amazing. Simply AMAZING! The yo-kai is inside of you, boy, but yet you still remain! I have not just created a new yo-kai host.. I have created the world’s strongest man! And I have just the use for you…

*Garrison sticks a microchip into Drago’s neck.*

Garrison: …Diamond Dragon.

By Blake

S2E10: The War of the Realms, Part I

*Alyssa walks out from the training room of the Vermeer Temple, unaware that the remainder of the team has fled.*

Alyssa: Alright! The training facilities seem to be in working order. Now we can get started with our training to take down Sigma! Ready, guys?


Alyssa: Guys?

*She cracks open the door to the boy’s dormitory, revealing to herself that they’ve fled the scene.*

Alyssa: They’re going to get themselves killed, aren’t they?

*Tiamat materializes beside Alyssa, wearing a grey kimono.*

 Tiamat: Not quite. From what I gather, the Dragon and your friends have gone on to defeat the Dragon’s master and free him from Sigma’s grasp. I suspect that they will succeed. The only problem is the war brewing.

Alyssa: War? We have to go after them! They can’t survive in a war! They-

Tiamat: Silence, mistress Alyssa. If I may say so, this will be a formative experience for them. The Dragon and master Cypress have a lot of.. catching up to do. Come. Join me and the Elder for tea.

*Tiamat guides Alyssa into the temple’s tea room.*

*Elsewhere, the four other ninja traverse the landscapes around the Vermeer Temple.*

Perez: Hey, guys.. do you think what the Elder told us about a war coming is true?

Charles: Definitely true. We haven’t won the war in the slightest. The least we’ve done is escape that Sigma-controlled prison.

Drago: That is correct. If what I believe is true, we should begin by checking the abandoned lab facility that my master had previously occupied.

Perez: Why don’t you just call him by his name? “William H. Garrison, pleased to meet you, happy to make all your wondrous childlike dreams come true, young man.” You helped us escape him, Drago. Why do we have to go back?

Cypress: Hold on, hold on. You mean to tell me that this Garrison man held you captive in an abandoned warehouse for years, just outside of Tokyoville, and you were never found?

Drago: Yes, this is true.

Charles: He helped Perez and I escape, and we eventually met Alyssa on the streets. That’s how we got our start.

Drago: Brother. Please. Help me defeat this man. He is the cause of my suffering, and the reason I am the deformed creature you see before you. I can only imagine what that madman has done with my Mortal body.

*Charles reaches into his pocket.*

Charles: I believe we have a way to find out.

*The stone that encapsulates Miyakunai begins to glow.*

By Blake

S0E-1: Rise


All I hear is sirens.

Water trickles from somewhere… but where?

*A young man sits up, finding that he is on the bank of a river near an abandoned warehouse.*

Drago: Where am I? Mom? Cy?

 *He looks around, revealing a streak of woods off to one side, and a river off to the other. The warehouse door slowly opens, and an old man steps out.*

???: Hello, young man. It is awfully cold out. Perhaps you should come inside.

*Unaware of what awaits, the young man walks inside of the warehouse. The older man ushers him to a dining area haphazardly set up, and offers the boy a bowl of soup.*

Prof. Garrison: Forgive me if I hasten. I am Professor William H. Garrison, and this warehouse is what I call home as I do my research. It is also the hub of said research, a place which I have named X-240 Labs.

*Drago spoons the soup into his mouth, finding it to be better than expected. He spoons a few more portions into his mouth as Garrison begins to speak again.*

Prof. Garrison: You have washed up onto the shores of this small island off the coast of Tokyoville. If I am correct, this means that it will not be long before the search for you is declared over, and you are assumed legally dead. But fear not. With death…

*Garrison turns a lightswitch on in the building, revealing a training room. A chair sits off to one side, with racks upon racks of syringes and medical equipment next to it.*

 Prof. Garrison: …comes life. Have you ever heard of “yo-kai,” dear boy?

Drago: Yeah, I suppose. They’re those spirits that cause mischief around the world, right?

Prof. Garrison: Correct. For eons, yo-kai have existed alongside humans. But yet… they grow unruly. I have taken it upon myself to stop them before a war rages so powerful, it will extinguish both sides. With the chair you see before you, I can heighten the abilities of a human to match that of a certain yo-kai, and that yo-kai will possess the form of that person. A soul for a soul. It’s a simple exchange.

*Garrison grips Drago by the hand.*

Prof. Garrison: Shall we begin the tests?

To be continued in S0E-2: Rush


By Blake

The Future of StupidNinjas

And so, what has come to pass has come to pass.

  The end is here, and the adventure has drawn to a close.

But the question remains…

Has it?

Hey guys! Blake here! It’s… been some time since the last update. Almost a year and a half.. I’ve not kept a good update schedule. At all.

Which brings me to this. What is the future of StupidNinjas? Will it be rebooted again? A whole new story that I can do with as I wish? Or will it continue from where I left off so long ago?

The answer is simple: StupidNinjas will be returning with weekly updates every Thursday beginning tomorrow, September 28th. That’s right, the story begins anew, and this time in weekly updates. I’ve already begun to stew over plot details during this break, and I’m glad to say I have enough ideas for episodes to get me through at least season 5. And this all begins with StupidNinjas: Season Zero, a new 3 episode series that begins the arc of the Diamond Dragon, Cypress’s brother Drago, and will attempt to answer the questions that were left over from the break, including:

  • Where exactly did Charles and Perez escape from? What’s being built there? Was the Diamond Dragon created in this same place?
  • How did the team get it’s start? Surely it couldn’t have skipped ahead from three ragtag streetrats to the team we know now.
  • And many more!

The first episode of this season, “Rise,” will be out tomorrow, September 28th. Expect it to be good, because I’ve been stewing over this episode for a year and a half. But how can I assure you that regular episodes will continue after Season Zero is over? It’s simple. I’ve doubled the load.

This means, of course, that along with Season Zero, the regular StupidNinjas story will continue beginning tomorrow, September 28th. I’ve been absent for a long time, and I feel like it’s time to begin taking this story seriously. No more gaps in the story from here on out, as long as I can help it. For the foreseeable future, there’ll be a Season Zero update in the morning, followed by an update to the regular story in the evening. This gives all new readers a perfect time to binge the series so far! Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Well, that’s all the news I have for the moment. StupidNinjas will return tomorrow with Season Zero, Episode One: Rise!



By Blake

S2E9: A Tale of Two Brothers

The Diamond Dragon stands in front of the Vermeer Temple, mask in hand. Cypress looks on.

Drago: I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for not telling you I was alive. It would have hindered our mission.

Cypress runs up and punches Drago in the face.

Cypress: WHAT THE HELL?!

Drago: Brother, please-

Cypress: NO! You leave me on my own for 10 years, and then you expect me to welcome you back in? Excuse me, but that seems like a ship that’s already sailed.

Drago: Brother, you must understand..

Cypress: Understand WHAT?! The fact that you’ve probably been working with that guy this entire time? Your “master,” as you call him? I’m gonna be honest here, I won’t go with you anywhere.

Suddenly, the temple doors slam shut.

Charles: You should. Because we are.

Perez: We were locked up in that place. The old abandoned orphanage? We were about to be tested on, about to possibly die. But someone saved us. That was you, wasn’t it?

Diamond Dragon: I am sorry. I have saved many, but I cannot recall them all.

Charles: Well, even if it wasn’t you, you clearly were involved with this guy. And that means that we’re tied together. We have a gratitude to pay for what you did. And that gratitude is to help you stop him.

Perez: So, are you gonna come along, Cypress?

Cypress: Guys, I don’t know. This is supposed to be my brother. Remember? The one who died in a boating accident? But now he’s here, and I have no idea what to think. I’ve read enough of the Ninja’s Scriptures to know that ghosts always come haunting, but..

Diamond Dragon: I am not a ghost, brother. But it is up to us to put other ghosts to rest.

Charles: So how are we going to do it?

The Diamond Dragon points to Sigma’s palace, off in the distance.

Diamond Dragon: We travel to the Palace. We take out the guards, and then we take their identities. And then, we strike.

Perez: But the other, much bigger army is planning to strike in about a week. What are we going to do then? They’ll kill us! Alyssa will kill us for not telling her!

Diamond Dragon: It will take merely three days, young one.

Cypress: If we do this, we have to do it right. We’ve all been outside the palace before. Think, what are some of it’s weak spots?

Charles: Well, there is that one loose board in the front.

Cypress: Then we strike there first. Let’s go.

The four swoop off into the trees.

By Blake

S2E8: One Man’s Mistake

The Army of The Spirit Realm stands outside of a decrepit temple.

Cypress: So Tiamat, you say you know this guy?

Tiamat: Yes, child. He is the all-seeing elder of the Other Realm. Before the treaty between our two realms was forged, he ruled over both realms with an iron fist. Now he is reduced to simply an elder, quite possibly the only one who can enlighten us with a way of defeating Sigma.

Alyssa: I.. see. Now, how about we actually go inside the temple?

Charles: I agree. We’re wanted criminals now, we can’t just go gallivanting into whatever trouble awaits us next.

Tiamat: Then let us enter, and be enlightened.

Inside the Temple of Vermeer, a withered old man sits cross-legged among smoking incense.

Elder: I sensed you would come, young ones. Sit amongst me, and let me tell you a tale.

The army takes their seats in a circle around the elder.

Elder: This is the story of one man’s mistake. One man’s mistake that, like it or not, would change the Three Realms forever.

Long ago, there were three realms. One, the Mortal World, was ruled by a race of humans.

The second, the Spirit Realm, was ruled over by a benign god, all seeing and all knowing.

And the third, the Other Realm, was ruled by.. well, me.

Sadly, not all of the realm’s residents were happy with the way things were run.

Two of the Realms were flooded with rebellion, each threatening to bleed into the others.

Until a man from the Mortal World began to experiment. Deadly experiments, with life altering consequences. He harvested the missing children from the Mortal World, and began attempting to create an army for the end times.

However, tampering with life turned out to not be as easy as he thought. His creatures became so grotesque and twisted, they began to attack the Mortal World. At first wind of this, the leaders of each realm signed a treaty.

The catch was, all experiments made by this man would be cast into the Other Realm. The Mortal authorities took him into custody.

But then, a demon rose to power. He overthrew me as leader of the Other Realm, and to this day continues to wreak havoc on the Mortal and Spirit Realms with these abominations. He is the first experiment. The oldest. Among the remaining members of the Treaty, we call him the Firstborn.

You know him as Sigma.

Cypress: Wow. So what happened to the man?

Elder: He was never found. Some say he went mad and continued his experimentation in full force.

The temple doors slam behind the group. Cypress runs out to try and stop the Diamond Dragon.

Cypress: Woah man, what’s going on?

Diamond Dragon: My master is still out there. I will not let him bring others down the same path as me. Whether you’re with me or against me, is not up to me. But I only pray you will help me in my quest..

The Dragon drops his mask, revealing a face all too familiar to Cypress.

Drago: ..brother.

By Blake

S2E7: The Lunch Crew

   Dear Lord Sigma,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a potential intergalactic war for whatever it was that we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us… in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a group of ninja, a group of thorns in your side. An interdimensional demon, an army of spirits, and a formerly deceased traitor.  Correct? That’s how we saw each other at seven o’clock this morning. We were brainwashed.

——–Saturday, March 12, 7:06 AM——–

The team, along with the spirit army, are encaged on Sigma’s prison, The Raft.

Alyssa: This is all your fault, Cypress. If you hadn’t agreed to take the Spirit Art under your mantle, we would be out of here by now.

Cypress: Why is it always my fault?

Alyssa: Because you were the one who agreed to this in the first place! Now we’re trapped, and it’s thanks to you that we’re waiting for execution.

Tiamat, Charles and Perez enter from a hole dug into the wall.

Tiamat: Children, perhaps if you two stopped bickering, we could dig out of this place?

Alyssa: You do realize that even if we managed to get out of here, we’re floating in the middle of space, right? We’ll die.

Tiamat: Oh, yes. I suppose I forgot I was in the presence of mortals.

——–Saturday, March 12, 8:04 AM——–

Charles: Look, maybe we can just stage a revolt? I mean, we aren’t the only ones here. Take this fine young man here for example! Hey, Cell 104-A, what are you in for?

The man in the cell turns around, revealing pure white eyes.

104-A: Name’s Ghost Eyes. I’m in here for harnessing the power of entire planets to fuel a death weapon.

Charles: Oh. Well then. You can turn back around now.

Ghost Eyes returns to his former position.

Perez: Okay, was anyone else sort of blinded by that guy’s eyes?

Perez turns around to see that one of the spirits has gone blind completely.

——–Saturday, March 12th, 10:02 AM——–

Cypress: Ugh, I’m so bored…

Alyssa: I know. I mean, we’re only trying to free the galaxy at large. You’d think that it would go accepted.

Tiamat: Sadly, not by these men. They believe their way is the only right in this world.

Charles: I’ve been wondering. You guys are literal ghosts. Why can’t you just phase through?

Stevenson: We would, except you aren’t asking nicely.

Charles: Oh, come ON!

——–Saturday, March 12th, 12:01 PM——–

Perez: Do they have any intention of feeding us?

The warden comes by, slamming his nightstick against the bars.

Warden: We feed you when we want to, maggot! Pipe down!

Cypress, wanting to try out his new powers, moves to the warden.

Cypress: You will let us out and let us raid the mess hall.

Warden: Hah, where’d you learn that one from? Galaxy Conflicts 9?

Cypress: You will let us out and let us raid the mess hall.

The warden’s eyes glaze over, and he moves to the cell door, unlocking it.

Cypress: Sweet.

Alyssa: Wait, you could have done that the entire time? Why didn’t you do it before?

Cypress: Because of this magical story element called a “McGuffin.”

——–Saturday, March 12, 1:04 PM——–

The newly-freed prisoners sit in the kitchen of The Raft, having gorged themselves on whatever they see fit.

Alyssa: That was so good.

Cypress: Honestly. And to think, we could’ve just done the essay he wants us to write and get out of here.

Alyssa: Hang on.. Cypress. You still have that paper?

——–Saturday, March 12, 3:04 PM——–

The warden finds a piece of paper taped to the mess hall doors.

Dear Lord Sigma,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a potential intergalactic war for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a ninja… an interdimensional demon… an army of spirits… and a formerly deceased traitor.

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours, the Lunch Crew.

Warden: Well, that was a waste of time.. Wait, there’s some on the back..

P.S. Shove it, you decrepit old fart.

By Blake

S2E6: The Key

Tiamat, now in it’s Aria Forme, sits beside the ghost of Stevenson on a fragment of the Spirit Realm Portal.

Tiamat: Indeed, former ally. You cannot return to the mortal world, for your body in our realm has been destroyed. Even my resurrection magicks could not restore you to life.

Stevenson: But.. there has to be some way, right?

Tiamat: Perhaps if we had found you sooner, there may have been a way. Bones could have been mended, organs healed, blood coagulation reversed.. But I’m afraid once the breath of life has left the body, there are limits to beyond even my magic.

Stevenson: So, what do we do now?

Tiamat: That’s just it. We’re assembling an army. Care to join us to take back what’s ours?

Stevenson: I suppose. After all, I have nothing more to lose.

Tiamat: Then it’s settled. Tonight we infiltrate Sigma’s palace, and take back our realm.

The following night, the ninja, along with Tiamat, Stevenson, and Tiamat’s army of the dead, crouch outside of the High Synagogue.

Cypress: Wow, they sure did rebuild that really quickly.

Stevenson: It serves as Sigma’s palace now.

Alyssa: Wait a second, how’d you know that?

Stevenson: Half of my spirit is linked to the amulet on his chest. I stay trapped here until that half is released. Then, I may pass on.

Perez: So how do we get in?

Tiamat: There is no other choice. One of you must fuse your power with me, and gain your True Forme.

The army looks around at each other, until Cypress sets down his blade.

Cypress: I’ll do it.

Tiamat: Are you sure? This may not be the wisest decision.

Cypress: Indeed, I am. Then let’s begin.

After the fusion process is complete, Cypress awakens, only to find the army has been found out, and are being held on chains by Sigma’s forces.

Cypress: W-what’s going on?

Alyssa: While you were out, Sigma’s forces saw the process taking place and now they’re hauling us all off to somewhere.

One of Sigma’s guards walks from the palace gates, holding a note from his master.

Guard: We just got word from the boss! Send them to The Raft!

Alyssa: The Raft? What’s The Raft?

One day later, the army is held in The Raft, Sigma’s intergalactic prison.

Alyssa: Oh. This is the Raft.

By Blake

S2E5: War Never Changes

Alyssa, Charles, Perez and the Diamond Dragon stare at the portal that has opened above the Other Realm.

Alyssa: Well, it looks like we’ll be fighting Sigma again.

Charles: I thought we killed him!

Perez: Yeah, I KNEW I saw him die in the finale!

Diamond Dragon: Fear not, young ones. Sigma may return, but you have beaten him once. And therefore, you shall beat him again. And you will not be alone this time.

Alyssa: Yeah, but what choice do we have? We’re stuck with you, and it’s not like we can just will anything we want to happen here..

Suddenly, the synagogue is freed from it’s chains. It drops down, crashing to rubble. As the dust settles, a lone figure emerges, arm replaced with a blade.

Cypress: But I can.

The team gazes upon Cypress, having undergone a transformation by crossing through the synthetic reality to the Other Realm.

Perez: Well, look who decided to show up.

Charles: We thought you were dead. Like, honestly.

Alyssa: Quiet! Cypress, it’s good to have you back. But in case you haven’t noticed, we kind of have a situation here.

She gestures toward the portal.

Cypress: Aah, I see. Well, Sigma was no match for us the last time, right?

Diamond Dragon: Yes, but now that we’re playing on his realm, he’s stronger.

Cypress does a double take towards the Diamond Dragon.

Cypress: I thought I warned you guys not to pick up hitchhikers.

Diamond Dragon: I am no hitchhiker. I am the Diamond Dragon, warrior of this realm.

Cypress: Oh, so kinda like that robot guy from Season 1?

Alyssa: No.

Cypress: Alright. So here’s the plan. There are 5 of us, so we’ll divide into 2 squadrons.

Charles: Cypress, that’s not how math works.

Cypress: Yes it is. You and Perez on one team, Alyssa and Diamond Dragon on the other end.

Perez: But what will you do?

Cypress: I have to face Sigma on my own. It has to be me.

Diamond Dragon: Fair enough. Let us forge into battle.

The 5 split up, as yet another portal opens. A man in a dark trenchcoat descends, his dark wings covering him as he lands.

Tiamat: I never thought I would have to use Aria Forme.. but it’s time. The battle has begun, and they’ll need reinforcements. It’s time to bring them to life.

Tiamat takes a vial from his bag, pouring the contents out as he walks. A figure materializes from the ground.

???: Please, help me. I want to go back to the real world.

Tiamat: Sorry, that will be hard. In the real world, you’re dead.

An expression of shock appears on the figure’s face.

Stevenson: What.. did you just say..?

By Blake

S2E4: The Battle of the Three Armies

Cypress ventures around the hospital, looking for a way out.

Cypress: So, this world can bend to my will, eh? I can do anything I want here? Like this, for example?

Cypress concentrates, and his left arm turns into a sword.

Cypress: That’s actually really painful. I suppose it could be useful.

An exit appears in the middle of the hallway.

Cypress: Alright! Time to get out of here! Hopefully, the team’s on their way now to get me.

Elsewhere, in the Other Realm…

Alyssa: We’ve been walking for hours. Can we stop yet?

Diamond Dragon: No, we must keep going. Your friend could have possibly discovered that the world he resides in can bend to his will. If he uses this power for too long, it could rip all of reality apart. We must rescue him as soon as we can.

Charles: Look man, normally I’d agree with you. But I’m just as fatigued as anyone else here. I say we should stop.

Diamond Dragon: No, foolish ninja! I have spent too long without this boy by my side, and I shall not waste a second on rest! Now, let us push on!

A collective groan sounds from the team, as a portal opens overhead.

Alyssa: Guys, is a portal bad or good?

Diamond Dragon: In our case, it’s better to draw your weapons and wait than to stand aside and do nothing. Let us await the arrival of our friend! Or foe! Or whatever comes out of there!

Tiamat drops out of the portal, surrounded by various soldiers.

Tiamat: Good news, everyone! We have an army!

Perez: Where did you get all these soldiers?

Tiamat: The residents of the Spirit Realm joined without haste! And when I said you lot were in trouble, I was able to recruit some of the citizens of Tokyoville as well!

Charles: Ooh, is Stevenson here? I LOVE that guy!

Tiamat: No, we couldn’t afford him. Or the mayor. Or anyone mildly recognizable.. They wouldn’t fit in our wordcount after all those explosions in the season one finale..

Diamond Dragon: Excellent! And to think, we’ve almost reached the synagogue.

The Diamond Dragon trudges ahead.

Diamond Dragon: Soon, Cypress.. we shall meet again.

By Blake